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Sheitan (2006)
I'd rather get my eyebrows waxed than having to re-watch this movie.
I continue my adventures in French inspired movies, by seeing this French Movie. You can't get more French-inspired than in France. I definitely feel like this movie put me through a roller-coaster and while I was leaving the park, it came out of nowhere and kicked me in the balls. The first twenty minutes or so I thought I was in a French remake of Stereo Future, minus the oxygen high.
So there's these 3 guys, like the three musketeers. One is Moroccan, one is Vietnamese and the weaselly one must have been the Frenchman. They meet these 3 girls at the club. They get together and this one girl, the tempting-if-you-like-that-kind-of-thing Roxane Mesquida, suggests they drive for hours and hours, into the middle of nowhere to her house. And can you believe this was all caused by one guy's insatiable sex drive?? OK, so the other 2 guys weren't exactly paddling in the opposite direction. At this point I was still intrigued, yet having a creeping suspicion that this was either going to go the way of Miike's Audition or the way of the Descent. It's funny, because it does neither. It goes completely in the opposite direction and then kicks you, again. While you are walking away in pain, it comes back and kicks you once more.
The departure signals the end of the beginning and the revealing of the true nature of the movie. It really wants to be a French version of the Wicker Man in the context of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And this is where you start to wonder about Occam's Razor and the possibility that this movie could recovery from a totally, out-of-control spiral towards Terra firma.
It doesn't. The movie had me when I thought it was a light affair and still had me when they were toying more with the love and less with killing. When the movie went towards crazy hillbillies, I was having flashbacks of the appropriate episode of the X Files, Jeffrey Dahmer and a H.P. Lovecraft story I once read (about a guy living in one of those isolated New England farmhouses - think of the introduction to Tales of the Darkside the series). By the end you are cursing the movie for making you watch, because there was a glimmer of hope and it managed to rope you in until the end.
Much like the character Thai, this movie blocks you on multiple fronts. The worst of it all is I don't think there was one death. They must have been saving money from the special effects and extras, to pay for the catered food. There were some assaults and body parts removed, but nothing you couldn't live without. I was further reminded of the similar results in Wolf Creek. At least that had carnage. Both movies were lengthy and took too long to develop. This movie was almost over before something happened. The extra night before X-Mas element should have opened the door for the original Black Christmas and Tales from the Crypt Santa episode. It was wasted as well. And again just like Thai, this movie will leave you unsatisfied and lying in a pool of your own blood. Do yourself and your loved ones a favor and skip this one.
So there's these 3 guys, like the three musketeers. One is Moroccan, one is Vietnamese and the weaselly one must have been the Frenchman. They meet these 3 girls at the club. They get together and this one girl, the tempting-if-you-like-that-kind-of-thing Roxane Mesquida, suggests they drive for hours and hours, into the middle of nowhere to her house. And can you believe this was all caused by one guy's insatiable sex drive?? OK, so the other 2 guys weren't exactly paddling in the opposite direction. At this point I was still intrigued, yet having a creeping suspicion that this was either going to go the way of Miike's Audition or the way of the Descent. It's funny, because it does neither. It goes completely in the opposite direction and then kicks you, again. While you are walking away in pain, it comes back and kicks you once more.
The departure signals the end of the beginning and the revealing of the true nature of the movie. It really wants to be a French version of the Wicker Man in the context of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And this is where you start to wonder about Occam's Razor and the possibility that this movie could recovery from a totally, out-of-control spiral towards Terra firma.
It doesn't. The movie had me when I thought it was a light affair and still had me when they were toying more with the love and less with killing. When the movie went towards crazy hillbillies, I was having flashbacks of the appropriate episode of the X Files, Jeffrey Dahmer and a H.P. Lovecraft story I once read (about a guy living in one of those isolated New England farmhouses - think of the introduction to Tales of the Darkside the series). By the end you are cursing the movie for making you watch, because there was a glimmer of hope and it managed to rope you in until the end.
Much like the character Thai, this movie blocks you on multiple fronts. The worst of it all is I don't think there was one death. They must have been saving money from the special effects and extras, to pay for the catered food. There were some assaults and body parts removed, but nothing you couldn't live without. I was further reminded of the similar results in Wolf Creek. At least that had carnage. Both movies were lengthy and took too long to develop. This movie was almost over before something happened. The extra night before X-Mas element should have opened the door for the original Black Christmas and Tales from the Crypt Santa episode. It was wasted as well. And again just like Thai, this movie will leave you unsatisfied and lying in a pool of your own blood. Do yourself and your loved ones a favor and skip this one.
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