Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Review of "Doom" (2005)


Doom (2005)


You know something's off balance when Karl Urban gets top billing over the Rock, in a B-movie based on a computer first-person shooter game.

Based on the latest iteration of the Doom series; This one seems to rely heavily on the Doom3 storyline, with the exception of the actual story. It definitely recreates the dark, cramped and "sweaty" atmosphere of the military/research complex from the game. The plot diverges a bit from the game. Apparently, force powers come from midi-chlorians and the devil-made-me-do-it (a.k.a. demonic possession) is based on an "Alien"-like tongue propagating with your neck.

The Rock leads a tactical rescue squad to Mars to investigate a disturbance and quarantine mission. Before we can go, we have to suit up and give each other code names like we did back in the 3rd grade. Yo Joe !! At this point the movie tries to pull off a bit of Predator (a.k.a- tactical squad takes on alien), but thankfully fails and stops trying. No way they can pull if off without Sonny Landham or a decent alien. They do have the Predator-like sweaty, bald black marine though.

This movie is pure homage to the FPS (first-person shooter), from the BFG (too bad they got that acronym wrong) weapon to the trip to the bathroom and to the inclusion of Carmack (a.k.a - John Carmack being the founder of ID Software, the maker of Doom and other fine products). The most lucrative of these is the FPS mode. First person mode (a.k.a - if you can stomach becoming Karl Urban) is quite gimmicky. It is far more interesting as a concept than actual execution. In a game it is part of the immerse nature of the environment, however, in a movie theater it seems a bit odd. I mean I would expect that if I went to Disney World, Epcot Center or somewhere in Las Vegas. My chair didn't move. My ass didn't get shocked. Did yours?? It came off more like something Uwe Boll (a.k.a - the Teutonic Terror) would do or of the caliber of the director of Romeo Must Die or Cradle 2 the Grave.

The monsters seem an odd collection of zombie, xeno-human and variation of xeno-human mutations. None are overly memorable and quite easily forgettable after their mutated gray matter gets splattered all over the walls. I mean we don't really even get a good "Boss" character. We get a re-hash. On a personal note, someone really needs to stop using Rosamund Pike as an actress. I haven't seen a decent, nor a different performance from her yet. I believe she is playing the same character she did in the Libertine, albeit without an overt English accent.

At least the director got one thing right about Doom; the crappy ending. This leads us to the type of director we have. Based on the fact that this was the worst movie the Rock has been in (don't get me wrong, he has been in some terrible movies, however, and his personality has managed to elevate the whole picture into enjoyable distractions). Instead of raising this movie up, the character and characterization of the "Sarge" just adds guano to the whole movie. In true FPS fashion, hit F7, restore another save point (preferably before you started watching this movie), say the magic word (Katsuhiko Kumanosuke Takaashi) and watch something else .... maybe like Crank. This is for Uwe : Watch Out!! Andrzej is on his way down to meet you.

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