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The Wicker Man" (2006)
Worthy of most things Shatnerian - "Why is .. it .. BURNED ??.... Why ...isitburned???
It is unfortunate that I review this movie after just seeing Crank. I still think I am seeing spots and I am definitely coming down. Solipsist and Oscar winning master thespian, Nicholas Cage, stars in either a farcical story of cross-cultural misunderstanding or in a unintended B-movie-like-comedy, complete with over-the-top, Shatner-like acting. I think it is the latter, but I leave it up to history and the experts to decide.
So the Cage, as I like to call him, is doing his best impersonation of Erik Estrada in Chips. He gets a note from his fiancée, which states that her daughter is missing and if he could help. Mind you, this is the woman who disappeared from his life, years before. She lives on an isolated island in the Northwest part of the country. An island that is mostly populated by a female Amish/Quaker-like commune. The rest is relatively meaningless. If you want meaning, you might as well check out the original movie. This movie is just there for the laughs.
The Cage is not a very good actor. As one of my comrades one said of him - "He's the same in every movie." He is an actor playing himself and not doing it very well. The Cage has been in some good movies, however, those were built around his "particular idiom" (Lord of War is a great example of this). On the other end, when you try to get him to act or make him feel emotion, you get this Botox coma or perhaps City of Angels. His performance in this movie can simple described as mind-numbingly-nuked. He is part angry octogenarian, part whiny, part drunk, all high-school production quality with 1/2 a bottle of pain killers. I mean the scenes in the bear suit are priceless, not to mention all the cheap shots he dishes out. Unfortunately, the hilarity mostly ensues well past the 60 minute mark. Prior to this, feel free to snicker and laugh at the lame, lame dialog. I can definitely say skip the theatrical version (go straight for the unrated version) of this movie, as you will be getting a slow motion montage-like procession scene with sound overlay instead of the actual scene. I actually was scratching my head, wondering, the first time I saw/heard it. Oh well. Highly recommended for a laugh. If you want to skip the movie all together, check out Youtube for a compilation of the best and funniest scenes in the movie. I think it's a fair trade - 3 minutes in the Cage or 90. ........................
Wise choice.
So the Cage, as I like to call him, is doing his best impersonation of Erik Estrada in Chips. He gets a note from his fiancée, which states that her daughter is missing and if he could help. Mind you, this is the woman who disappeared from his life, years before. She lives on an isolated island in the Northwest part of the country. An island that is mostly populated by a female Amish/Quaker-like commune. The rest is relatively meaningless. If you want meaning, you might as well check out the original movie. This movie is just there for the laughs.
The Cage is not a very good actor. As one of my comrades one said of him - "He's the same in every movie." He is an actor playing himself and not doing it very well. The Cage has been in some good movies, however, those were built around his "particular idiom" (Lord of War is a great example of this). On the other end, when you try to get him to act or make him feel emotion, you get this Botox coma or perhaps City of Angels. His performance in this movie can simple described as mind-numbingly-nuked. He is part angry octogenarian, part whiny, part drunk, all high-school production quality with 1/2 a bottle of pain killers. I mean the scenes in the bear suit are priceless, not to mention all the cheap shots he dishes out. Unfortunately, the hilarity mostly ensues well past the 60 minute mark. Prior to this, feel free to snicker and laugh at the lame, lame dialog. I can definitely say skip the theatrical version (go straight for the unrated version) of this movie, as you will be getting a slow motion montage-like procession scene with sound overlay instead of the actual scene. I actually was scratching my head, wondering, the first time I saw/heard it. Oh well. Highly recommended for a laugh. If you want to skip the movie all together, check out Youtube for a compilation of the best and funniest scenes in the movie. I think it's a fair trade - 3 minutes in the Cage or 90. ........................
Wise choice.
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